生活大爆炸第五季第12集 The Big Bang Theory Season5 Episode 12
-Howard: Completely empty box.
completely: 完全的 empty: 空的
绝对是一个空盒子。
If you'd like to examine it...
examine: 检验
你们可以检查一下...
-Leonard: Mm-hmm. Yep.
嗯，好吧。
I see nothing in this box but a wasted childhood.
waste: 荒废的 childhood: 童年时期
除了一段被丢弃的童年，盒子里什么都没有。
-Howard: Little snarky there, Cello Lessons.
snarky:[主英国俚语]无礼的 cello: 大提琴 Lesson: 教程
真刻薄，如同大提琴演奏曲。
And we have this completely ordinary cylinder.
ordinary: 普通的 cylinder: 圆筒
这里还有一个十分普通的圆筒。
If you'd like to examine it...
你们也可以检查一下...
-Rajesh: Ordinary, yet I sense it is dripping with magical potential.
sense: 感觉 drip: 充满 magical: 有魔力的 potential: 潜在的
是很普通，但我感觉到它在发散某种魔力。
-Sheldon: Oh, dear Lord.
lord: 上帝
噢，上帝啊。
A man pops out for a moment to evacuate his bowels
pop out: 弹出 evacuate: 排泄 bowels: 内脏（尤指人的肠子）
一个男人出来想要排空他的肠子
and catch up on the Adventures of the Caped Crusader,
catch up: 赶上 adventures: 冒险 caped: 披斗篷的 crusader: 改革者
看了"蝙蝠侠:斗篷骑士"的新番，
only to emerge and discover his apartment
emerge: 出现 discover: 发现 apartment: 公寓
却发现他的公寓
has been transformed into a cabaret.
transform: 转变 cabaret: 卡巴莱歌舞表演
已经变成了歌厅了。
-Leonard: Sheldon, he's just
Sheldon 他只是，
practicing for his cousin's birthday party.
practice: 练习 cousin: 堂兄弟姐妹
在演练他表弟生日派对的节目而已。
-Howard: As I was saying...
继续我刚才说的...
empty box, empty cylinder,
空盒子，空圆筒，
and... ooh!
还有... 噢!
Voila.
瞧。
-Rajesh: I'm telling you, dude, there's a seat
dude: [口语]老兄 seat: 座位
伙计，我敢说，
on the Hogwarts Express with your name on it.
express: 快车
霍格沃茨特快列车的某个座位上肯定有你的名字。
-Sheldon: This is how you're going to entertain
entertain: 招待
这就是你打算
your little cousin and his friends?
娱乐你的小表弟和他那些朋友的方法吗?
By lying to them?
lying: 说谎
以欺骗他们的方式?
-Howard: How is this lying?
这怎么会是欺骗呢?
-Sheldon: A magic show is an inherently deceitful proposition.
magic: 魔术 show: 表演 inherently: 内在的 deceitful: 欺骗的 proposition: 主题
魔术表演实质上就是一个充满欺骗的过程。
This is an ordinary top hat.
top hat: 礼帽
这只是一顶普通的帽子。
You've chosen that card freely.
freely: 自由的
这张卡是被你随意抽出来的。
I do not have a set of lock picks lodged in my keister.
lock: 锁 pick: 挖 lodged in: 固定 keister: 屁股
我屁股里没放开锁器。
-Rajesh: Can't you
你不能。
just enjoy the wonder, Sheldon?
wonder: 奇妙的
只是单纯地享受这些奇观吗，Sheldon?
Why must you peek behind the curtain?
peek: 偷看 curtain: 幕
你为什么一定要搞清背后的奥秘呢?
Or up the butt?
butt: 屁股
或者是屁股里的?
-Sheldon: If we poison the critical thinking faculties of children
poison: 毒害 critical thinking: 批判性思维 critical: 批评的 faculty: 才能
如果我们毒害那些孩子的批判性思维
by telling them that rabbits
rabbit: 兔子
告诉他们兔子。
come out of hats, then we create adults
adult: 成年人
是从帽子里蹦出来的，那他们成年以后。
who believe in astrology and homeopathy
astrology: 占星术 homeopathy: 顺势疗法
就会相信占星学和顺势疗法
and that Ryan Reynolds was a better choice for Green Lantern
choice: 选择 lantern: 提灯
而且会觉得Ryan Reynolds比讨人喜欢的Nathan Fillion
than lovable rogue Nathan Fillion.
lovable: 讨人喜欢的 rogue: 凶猛的
更适合演绿灯侠。
-Leonard: Sheldon,
Sheldon啊，
he's just gonna do a few magic tricks for some kids.
gonna: （美）将要（等于going to） magic trick: 魔术 kid: 孩子
他只是打算给一些孩子表演几个魔术而已。
I really don't think they're gonna end up
我真不觉得他们会因此。
liking the Green Lantern movie.
movie: 电影
喜欢上绿灯侠这部电影。
-Howard: Don't be so hard on him.
别这么说他了。
It's natural to be a little cranky when you have...
natural: 自然地 cranky: 暴躁的
有时人们容易变得暴躁，在他们...
a quarter in your ear!
quarter: 驻扎 ear: 耳朵
耳朵里藏着硬币的时候!
-Sheldon: Coins lodged in body parts is not a source of amusement.
coin: 硬币 source: 来源 amusement: 娱乐
身体里藏着硬币并不是什么好玩的事。
When I was five, Billy Sparks put a Mexican peso up my nose.
peso: 比索（拉丁美洲一些国家的货币单位）
我五岁的时候 Billy Sparks将一枚墨西哥比索放进我鼻子里了。
-Howard: Wait, wait, wait, how is that not amusing?
amusing: 有趣的
等下，等下，等下，那怎么就不好玩呢?
-Sheldon: It's still there.
它现在还在那。
Takes me 45 minutes to get through airport security.
airport: 机场 security: 安全
我要用45分钟才能通过机场安检。
-Howard: Look, I made Sheldon disappear. Ta-da.
disappear: 消失
看，我让Sheldon走开了，嗒哒。
-Leonard: Next time, you should open with that.
下次你应该一开始就这样做。
“Our whole universe was in a hot, dense state.
universe: 宇宙，世界 dense: 稠密的 state: 情形
“宇宙一度滚烫稠密，
Then nearly 14 billion years ago expansion started. Wait...
billion: 十亿 expansion: 膨胀 wait: 等待
140亿年前终于爆了炸，等着瞧...
The earth began to cool
cool: 变凉，冷却
地球开始降温，
The autotrophs began to drool, neanderthals developed tools
autotrophs: 自养生物 drool: 从嘴淌下，散漫的说 neanderthals: 穴居人 tool: 工具
自养生物来起哄，穴居人发明工具。
We built the wall. We built the pyramids
the pyramids: 埃及金字塔
我们建长城，我们建金字塔。
Math, science, history, unraveling the mystery.
math: 数学 science: 科学 history: 历史 unravel: 解开，阐明 mystery: 神秘，奥秘
数学、自然科学、历史，揭开神秘。
That all started with a big bang.”
bang: 撞击，砰然巨响
一切都开始于大爆炸。
Bang!
砰!”
-Penny: Ooh, look who's out on a date.
date: 约会
噢，看看谁在约会呢。
Pasadena's favorite power couple, Shamy.
favorite: 最喜爱的 power: 力量 couple: 情侣
帕萨迪那州史上最有能耐的一对情侣 Shamy。
-Sheldon: And that is the answer to the question,
这也就回答了刚刚的问题，
what is wrong with eating at The Cheesecake Factory?
cheesecake: 奶酪蛋糕 factory: 工厂
为什么不在"芝士蛋糕工厂"吃饭？
-Penny: So, are we celebrating anything special tonight?
celebrating: 庆祝 special: 特别的
那么，我们今晚要庆祝什么吗?
-Amy: Oh, yes.
噢，是的。
Our relationship agreement specifies
relationship: 关系 agreement: 协议 specifies: 指定
我们的关系确定合同书上说明。
that the second Thursday of every month,
每月的第二个周四，
or the third Thursday in a month with five Thursdays,
或者在包含五个周四的那个月的第三个周四，
is date night.
定为我们的约会之夜。
-Penny: That is so hot.
太酷了。
-Sheldon: All right, without objection, the minutes of the previous date
objection: 反对 previous: 以前的
好了，既然我们都不反对，那么之前的约会纪要
are considered read and agreed to.
consider: 认为 agree: 同意
就可当作已阅并且达成一致了。
Any new business?
有什么新鲜事吗?
-Amy: How was your day?
你今天过得怎么样?
-Sheldon: That is Superb.
superb: 极好的
棒极了。
This morning I made a palindrome
palindrome: 回文
今天早上我用字母麦片
with my Alpha-Bits.
alpha: 希腊语的第一个字母 bits: 二进制数字
造了个回文
It is "Nice hat, Bob Tahecin."
就是 "Nice hat Bob Tahecin"
-Amy: Sounds like you hit the ground running.
sounds like: 听起来
听上去你做得挺不赖的。
I have a bit of good news myself.
news: 消息
我也有好消息。
My most recent paper
recent: 最近的 paper: 论文
我最近发表了一篇论文。
on how a cooperative long-term potentiation
cooperative: 合作的 long-term: 长期的 potentiation: 增益效应
是关于长期的协同性增益效应。
can map memory sequences in dendritic branches
map: 映射 memory: 记忆 sequences: 顺序 dendritic: 树状的 branch: 分支
如何影响神经突触的记忆顺序的
made the cover of Neuron.
cover: 封面 Neuron: [解剖]神经元
这篇论文上了神经元的头版。
-Sheldon: Ooh! Speaking of good news,
噢! 说到好消息。
somebody...
有人的...
just hit 100 Twitter followers.
twitter: 微博客 followers: 追随者
微博粉丝刚刚突破100个。
-Amy: That's nice.
很棒啊。
Anyway, I've been dreaming of this day
dreaming: 梦想
话说回来，我期待这一天
-Sheldon: Triple digits, I'm not gonna lie...
triple: 三位的 digits: 数字 lie: 说谎
三位数，我没有撒谎...
it feels pretty good.
感觉实在很棒。
-Amy: Sheldon,
Sheldon啊，
I'm the sole author on a paper being published
sole: 单独的 author: 作者 published: 出版
我独立署名的论文发表在著名杂志上
in a distinguished journal that may change
distinguished: 著名的 journal: 日报
而这篇论文可能会
the course of my field.
field: 领域
改变我研究领域的方向。
-Sheldon: Ooh, 101!
噢，101了!
Air's getting a bit thin up here.
thin: 微弱的
空气都开始变得紧张了。
-Penny: So, are we ready to order?
order: 点餐
你们打算点餐了吗?
-Amy: Give me a minute.
等一会。
I'm gonna go wash up.
gonna: （美）将要（等于going to） wash up: 洗手洗脸
我去洗手。
-Sheldon: Well, that's odd.
odd: 奇怪的
嗯，真奇怪。
We both washed up when we came in.
我们俩进来的时候都洗过了。
It's probably a euphemism for urination.
probably: 可能 euphemism: 是的委婉说法 urination: 撒尿
可能是想要撒尿的委婉说法。
-Penny: Sheldon, what is wrong with you?
Sheldon，你没问题吧?
-Sheldon: Not much. Although, I can be faulted
although: 尽管 faulted: 有缺点的
还好吧但我过于热爱考拉的行为
for being overly fond of koala bears.
overly: 过度的 fond: 喜欢 koala bear: 考拉熊
可能有点夸张。
I don't know what it is,
我也不知是怎么了，
when they start munching on eucalyptus,
munching: 用力咀嚼 eucalyptus: 桉树
当它们在桉树上开始咀嚼食物的时候，
I just melt inside.
melt: 溶化
我整颗心都融化了。
-Penny: Okay, Amy just told you some exciting news,
exciting: 令人兴奋的
好了，Amy刚告诉了你一个振奋人心的好消息，
and you acted like it was no big deal.
acted like: 举止像… no big deal: 没什么了不起
但你却表现得不以为然。
-Sheldon: Oh, I see why you're confused.
confuse: 困惑
噢，我知道你困惑什么了。
No, her news sounded important, but what you're forgetting is,
不，她的消息听起来似乎很重要，但你忘了。
it was an achievement in the field of biology.
achievement: 成就 biology: 生物学
那是生物学领域的一个成就。
That's all about yucky, squishy things.
yucky: 恶心的 squishy: 粘糊糊的
全是关于那些恶心，粘湖湖的东西。
-Penny: Honey, she's upset. You're her boyfriend.
upset: 心烦的
亲爱的，她很沮丧，你是她的男朋友。
You have to at least try to be excited
at least: 至少
你至少得试着对她感到兴奋的事情。
by the things she's excited by.
表现得有兴致一些。
-Sheldon: What if they simply don't excite me?
simply: 简单
但如果那些就是不能引起我的兴趣呢?
-Penny: Well, just smile and think about koalas.
那就想着考拉，微笑。
-Sheldon: She'd see right through that.
她会看穿我的。
We go to the zoo all the time.
zoo: 动物园
我们经常一起去动物园。
She knows my koala face.
她知道我见到考拉后是什么样子。
And for future reference, it's this.
reference: 参考
留给你以后作参考，就是这个表情。
-Bernadette: Oh, you have a lot of magic stuff.
magic: 魔术 stuff: 东西
噢，你有很多魔术用具。
-Howard: Yeah.
是的。
I started when I was a teenager.
teenager: 十几岁的青少年
我才十几岁的时候就开始玩了。
I thought I could show a girl a few tricks
tricks: 技巧
我想着可以给一个女孩表演魔术。
and invite her up to my bedroom to see the rest of the act.
invite: 邀请 bedroom: 卧室 rest: 剩下的
然后邀请她到我房间看剩下的表演。
-Bernadette: Did it work?
成功了吗?
-Howard: Ah, let's just say the only wand
wand: 魔杖
啊，只能说唯一活动过的
that ever saw any action was this one.
action: 行动
棒棒就是这个了。
Oh, look what my mom made us for the act.
噢，看看我妈妈为我们的表演准备了什么。
-Bernadette: Ooh...
噢...
I like the fabric.
fabric: 织物
我喜欢这种布料。
Where'd she get it?
她在哪弄来的?
-Howard: Well, she cut up one of her old bathing suits.
cut up: 切碎 bathing suit: 泳衣
额，她剪了一件旧泳衣。
She made these two vests and half a dozen napkins.
vest: 背心 dozen: 一打 napkin: 餐巾
做了两个背心和半打餐巾。
-Howard’s Mum: Has she tried on the vest yet?!
她试过背心了吗?!
-Howard: I just gave it to her!
我刚给她!
-Howard’s Mum: I hope it fits... she has a tricky figure!
tricky: 棘手的 figure: 人的（形体）
我希望能合身... 她的身材很难弄!
She's short and stacked, like me!
stacked: 身材丰满匀称的
她跟我一样又矮又胖!
-Howard: She's not stacked like you, Ma! She never steps on hers!
她可没你那么胖妈! 她从来不会被自己绊倒!
-Bernadette: Listen, Howie, maybe I'm not the best choice
choice: 选择
听我说 Howie 也许我不是做你
to be a magician's assistant.
magician: 魔术师 assistant: 助手
魔术助理的最佳人选。
-Howard: You'll do fine. Hand me those rings?
ring: 铁圈
你能做好的，能帮我递下那些铁圈么?
See? You nailed it.
nail: 搞定，钉住
看到么? 你搞定了。
-Bernadette: You know, i... it's just that
你看，事实是
I'm not that comfortable with little kids.
comfortable: 舒服
我跟小孩子在一起不是很舒服。
-Howard: Well, that's because you haven't been around them much.
那是因为你没有多接触他们。
This is good practice. I mean,
practice: 练习
这是个好机会，我是说，
you are gonna be a mom someday, right?
someday: 有一天
你总有一天要成为母亲，对吧?
-Bernadette: Yeah, sure.
是的，当然。
-Howard: Oh-ho-ho!
哦，吼，吼!
I haven't seen this trick in years.
trick: 道具
我好多年没见过这个道具了。
It's called the dove pan.
dove: 鸽子 pan: 平底锅
它叫鸽子锅。
You let everyone see the pan is empty,
empty: 空的
你让观众看到这盘子是空的。
but there's a secret compartment in the lid.
secret: 秘密的 compartment: 分隔 lid: 盖子
但是盖子里面有个秘密的隔层。
And then you open it and produce a live...
produce: 生产 live: 活的
然后你把它打开，变出一个活的...
Don't look in there.
别看那里面。
-Leonard: Oh, a little Red Dead Redemption, huh?
redemption: 赎回
哦，玩荒野大镖客呢?
-Sheldon: Yes.
是的。
-Leonard: How come you're not doing a mission?
mission: 任务
你怎么没做任务呢?
You're just wandering around.
wandering: 闲逛
你就这么来回溜达。
-Sheldon: Had a rough night.
rough: 艰苦的
今晚真难熬。
I thought I'd go for a walk and clear my head.
我想我得散散步让脑袋清醒一下。
-Leonard: Some people go outside and do that.
某些人是去外面做这些事。
-Sheldon: It's after 9:00... at this hour the streets of Pasadena
现在9点多了... 这个时候帕萨迪纳的街上。
are teeming with drunken sailors and alley cats.
teeming: 充满 drunken: 喝醉的 sailor: 水手 alley cat: 野猫
全都是醉醺醺的水手和流浪猫。
-Leonard: You want to talk about it?
你想谈谈么?
-Sheldon: No.
不。
I think I'll just go in this saloon
saloon: 酒吧
我想我该进这个酒吧里
and drink my troubles away.
trouble: 麻烦
一醉解千愁。
-Leonard: You know digital alcohol is never a solution.
digital: 虚拟的 alcohol: 酒精 solution: 解决方案
你知道虚拟酒精也解决不了问题。
What's going on?
发生什么事了?
-Sheldon: Hard as this may be to believe,
也许这难以置信，
it's possible that I'm not boyfriend material.
possible: 可能 material: 材料
可能我不是个做男朋友的料。
-Leonard: Glad I was sitting down for that.
glad: 高兴地
我坐着听这句话是明智的。
Did you and Amy get in a fight?
fight: 打架
你和Amy吵架了吗?
-Sheldon: Amy had a fight. I was being perfectly reasonable.
perfectly: 完全的 reasonable: 合理的
Amy跟我吵了，我是占理的那个。
I'm gonna have a whiskey.
whiskey: 威士忌酒
我要喝点威士忌。
Do you want anything?
你想要点什么?
-Leonard: No, I can't.
不，我不能。
I'm playing Grand Theft Auto later.
我一会还得玩侠盗猎车。
Look, I'm no expert in women...
expert: 专家
你看，我不是很了解女人...
-Sheldon: I'll say.
我同意。
-Leonard: I don't stand it's necessary when someone is trying to help you.
necessary: 必须的
当别人想帮助你的时候，不用这么回复。
-Sheldon: I'm sorry. It's the alcohol talking.
对不起，是醉话。
Go on.
继续。
-Leonard: Sometimes with women you want to listen to what upsets them
upset: 心烦的
有时候你得听听什么让她们不高兴了。
and then show them that you can grow and change.
然后告诉她们你可以改变和成长。
-Sheldon: Nuts to that. What else you got?
傻子才这么干，你还知道点什么?
-Leonard: I don't know what to tell you.
我不知道告诉你点什么。
Buy her something.
给她买点东西。
-Sheldon: How does that work?
为什么这么做?
-Leonard: Well, you skip over any attempt to repair
skip over: 略过 attempt: 尝试 repair: 修复
额，你用点经济手段就可以
your emotional connection and you win back her affection
emotional: 感情的 connection: 连接 affection: 感情
省略掉所有修复感情的交流步骤
with an empty financial gesture.
financial: 金融的 gesture: 用动作示意
重新赢得她的爱。
-Sheldon: Well, that approach has Sheldon Cooper written all over it.
approach: 方法
好，这个办法太适合Sheldon Cooper了。
-Leonard: Glad I could help.
很开心能帮你。
-Sheldon: It's appreciated. And if you ever manage
appreciate: 感激
非常感激如果你能再找到个女人
to find a woman again, I'll be glad to return the favor.
return: 报答
我会很乐意还你这个人情。
-Howard: And now, all the rings are
现在，所有铁圈
magically linked together.
magically: 魔法的 link: 连接
都被魔法连在了一起。
My fiancee is wearing a magic ring, too.
fiancée: 未婚妻
我的未婚妻也戴了个魔法铁圈。
It made all my money disappear.
disappear: 消失
它把我的钱都变没了。
-Bernadette: Oh, ah, right.
哦，啊，好的。
And now, the great Howdini's
现在，是伟大的Howdini
next miraculous illusion.
miraculous: 不可思议的 illusion: 幻觉
见证奇迹的时刻。
-Boy A: When are we gonna have cake?
gonna: （美）将要（等于going to）
我们什么时候才能吃蛋糕?
-Bernadette: After you've been thoroughly amazed.
thoroughly: 彻底的 amaze: 惊奇的
在你们彻底叹服的时候。
-Boy A: But we want cake now.
但是我们现在想吃蛋糕。
-Bernadette: Well, you're not getting cake right now, capisce?
你们现在还不能吃，了解吗?
-Howard: Okay. Okay.
好，好。
Now, my lovely assistant is going to bring me
lovely: 可爱的 assistant: 助理
现在我亲爱的助理将给我拿来
an ordinary pitcher of milk.
ordinary: 普通的 pitcher: 大水罐
一杯普通的牛奶。
-Boy B: I know how you do that trick.
trick: 窍门
我知道你的小把戏。
-Bernadette: Do you know how to pipe down?
pipe down: 安静下来
你知道怎么闭嘴吗?
-Howard: Okay, we're going
好的，我们要
to roll up this newspaper.
roll up: 卷起 newspaper: 报纸
卷起这些报纸。
-Boy B: It's a fake pitcher.
fake: 假的
那是假罐子
-Bernadette: You got wax in your ears?
wax: 蜡
你有耳屎吗?
The man said it's an ordinary pitcher.
这位先生说那是个普通的罐子。
Howdini.
给 Howdini。
-Howard: Okay, we're going to stick this in here.
stick: 戳
好，我们把报纸立在这里。
And then I'm going to pour in the milk.
pour in: 倾倒
然后我往里面倒牛奶。
I hope this works,
我希望能成功，
because I didn't bring a change of pants.
pants: 裤子
因为我没带换洗的裤子。
-Boy B: Look, I Googled it.
看看，我刚谷歌了这个。
It's a fake pitcher.
那是假罐子。
-Bernadette: That's it.
够了。
No cake for you.
你没蛋糕了。
Anyone else want to join the No Cake Club?
join: 加入 club: 俱乐部
谁想加入没蛋糕俱乐部?
-Howard: She's just kidding, boys and girls.
kidding: 开玩笑
她只是开玩笑，孩子们。
Everyone gets cake.
每个人都有蛋糕吃。
-Bernadette: Not him.
除了他。
-Howard: Just give me the pitcher.
给我那个罐子。
Behold!
behold: 看
看好!
Wrong pitcher.
罐子拿错了。
-Bernadette: I told you I'm not good with kids.
我跟你说了我不喜欢孩子。
-Howard: Yes, you did.
是的，你说了。
Oh, I think my crotch is starting to curdle.
crotch: 人的胯部 curdle: 凝固
哦，我想我的裤子开始凝固了。
-Bernadette: The thing is, my mother worked full-time.
full-time: 全天
问题是我妈妈全天工作。
I had to take care of my brothers and sisters.
我不得不照顾我的兄弟姐妹。
-Howard: Yeah, so?
是的，那么?
-Bernadette: Ugh, it was horrible!
horrible: 可怕的
啊，那真是太可怕了!
With their snotty noses and their poopy diapers
snotty: 流鼻涕的 diaper: 尿布
他们的鼻涕泡和脏尿布
and their little shrieky voices, always complaining.
shriek: 尖叫 voice: 声音 complain: 抱怨
还有小声的尖叫，还总是在抱怨，
I don't want to get dressed.
get dress: 穿好衣服
我不想穿衣服。
Joey keeps spitting in my mouth.
spit: 吐痰
Joey总往我嘴里吐口水。
This isn't the way Mom makes waffles.
waffles: 华夫饼干
妈妈可不是这么做饼干的。
Well, okay, put your hand in here.
恩，好的，把你的手放在这。
Let's see how you like this waffle!
看看你有多喜欢这饼干!
-Howard: All right, settle down.
settle down: 安定下来
好啦，冷静点。
Red light.
红灯。
Red light, red light!
红灯，停!
Okay, we're fine.
好的，我们很好。
-Bernadette: I'm sorry.
对不起。
I know it makes me sound like a bad person,
我知道听上去我像个坏人，
but I just don't like children.
children: 孩子
但我只是不喜欢孩子。
-Howard: Yeah, no, we all got that.
是的，不，我们都了解。
But don't you think it'll be different
但是你不觉得，如果是我们的孩子
when the child is ours?
会不一样吗?
-Bernadette: Right, when it's our kid that's ruined my body
ruin: 毁掉
恩如果是我们的孩子那就要毁掉我的身材
and kept me up all night and I've got no career and no future
career: 工作
让我整夜睡不好，还没有了工作和未来
and nothing to be happy about for the next 20 years,
接下来的20年都没什么好事，
sure, that'll be completely different.
completely: 完全的
当然了，这会完全不同。
-Howard: Well, yeah.
恩，好吧。
-Sheldon: I don't think there's anything in this jewelry store
jewelry: 珠宝
我不觉得这个珠宝店里有比
that Amy would appreciate more
appreciate: 欣赏
我们刚才在Sears看到的加湿器
than the humidifier we were just looking at at Sears.
humidifier: 增湿器
更让Amy喜欢的东西。
-Penny: Oh, my God, now I know what I sound like to you
哦，天啊，现在我知道我说蠢话的时候
when I say stupid stuff.
stupid: 愚蠢的 stuff: 东西
你是什么感觉了。
-Sheldon: Ooh, a pocket watch.
pocket watch: 怀表
哦，一个怀表。
-Penny: Okay, I don't think Amy wants a pocket watch.
好吧，我觉得Amy不会想要怀表的。
-Sheldon: No, but maybe she wants a man with a pocket watch.
不过她可能喜欢带怀表的男人啊。
-Penny: Still saying stupid stuff.
还在说蠢话哟。
Does she like bracelets?
bracelets: 手链
她喜欢手镯吗?
-Sheldon: Well, she's very fond of her silver one
silver: 银的
呃，她很喜欢那个刻着
that says "allergic to penicillin."
allergic: 过敏 penicillin: 盘尼西林
青霉素过敏的银镯子。
Maybe they have a dressier version of that?
dressy: 讲究服装的 version: 版本
这里说不定有更时髦的?
-Sales: Well, how are we doing this afternoon?
两位，下午好啊。
Are we looking for anything special?
special: 特别的
需要什么吗?
Perhaps a ring for the lady?
perhaps: 或许 ring: 戒指
给这位女士买一枚戒指，怎么样?
-Penny: Trust me, we are not a couple.
trust: 相信 couple: 情侣
相信我，我们不是情侣。
-Sheldon: Excuse me.
不好意思
I don't see why you get to snort derisively and point that out.
derisively: 嘲弄的
我不明白你为什么要对此嗤之以鼻
You'd be lucky to land a fella like me.
fella: 小伙子
你要能找到我这样的男朋友就是福气
-Penny: Fine, go ahead.
好吧你来
-Sheldon: Trust me, we are not a couple.
相信我我们不是情侣
-Sales: My apologies.
apologies: 道歉
不好意思。
How can I help you today?
有什么需要帮忙的吗?
-Penny: He's in trouble with his girlfriend
trouble: 麻烦
他和女朋友闹别扭
and needs to buy her a present.
present: 礼物
所以要买份礼物给她。
-Sales: Great, trouble with girlfriends
棒极了，和女朋友闹矛盾
is what's putting my daughter through USC.
让我女儿顺利从南加州大学毕业了。
-Penny: Ooh, are these real diamonds?
diamond: 钻石
噢，这些是真钻石吗?
-Sales: Yes. Channel set baguettes, 20 points total weight.
baguette: 长条的 point: 点 total: 总的 weight: 重量
是啊，长条镶钻，20分。
-Sheldon: Remarkable.
remarkable: 卓越的
了不起啊。
Diamonds, crystallized carbon.
crystallized: 结晶 carbon: [化学]碳
钻石，碳元素晶体。
Every day, people go to the grocery store
grocery: 杂货
人们每天去杂货店，
and come home with sacks full of carbon
sacks: 麻布袋
带回一袋袋
in the form of charcoal briquettes
charcoal: 木炭 briquettes: 煤球
以木炭形式存在的碳元素
that they toss in their barbeques and set on fire.
toss: 结束 barbeques: 烧烤
扔进烤肉架，点上火。
But just because you've got some carbon
而你不过是因为有一些
with the atoms stacked neatly,
atoms: 原子 stacked: 堆放 neatly: 整洁的
排列整齐的碳元素，
you expect me to plunk down thousands of dollars.
expect: 期望 plunk down: 付给
就指望我为你一掷千金。
-Sales: Actually, that's only 750.
实际上，只有750块。
Everything's on sale.
sale: 促销
所有商品都在促销。
-Sheldon: Really? Talk to me about that pocket watch.
真的吗? 带我看看那块怀表。
-Howard: I'm still trying to wrap my mind around it.
wrap: 缠绕
我仍然在想那件事。
I always
我一直以为
thought I'd be a dad someday.
我总有一天会成为一个父亲。
-Rajesh: Oh, me, too.
噢，我也这么想。
You're so caring.
你这么会关心人。
I've often pictured you guiding a young boy into manhood.
guiding: 引导 manhood: 男子
我常想象，你引导一个男孩成为一个男子汉。
-Leonard: There you go, Howard.
Howard 你看，又来了。
Sounds like Raj'll have your babies; problem solved.
solve: 解决
听上去Raj愿意为你生孩子，问题解决了。
-Rajesh: Hey, just because a man shows caring for another man
嘿，一个男人关心另一个男人
doesn't mean he's displaying the love
displaying: 显示
并不一定意味着
that dare not speak its name.
他们有基情。
Did she definitely say she didn't want kids?
definitely: 清楚地
她斩钉截铁地说不要孩子吗?
-Howard: Yeah, she doesn't like them.
是啊，她不喜欢孩子。
And from what I saw, the feeling was mutual.
mutual: 共同的
而且就我所见，这种感觉是双向的。
-Leonard: What are you gonna do?
那你准备怎么办?
-Howard: I don't know.
不知道。
I can't see a life where I don't have kids.
我无法想象自己一生没有孩子。
I mean, people have kids.
我是说，人都有孩子。
I mean, even Donkey Kong had Donkey Kong Jr.
就连大金刚都有小金刚。
So he could teach someone how to kidnap princesses
kidnap: 绑架 princess: 公主
那样就有人向他学习如何绑架公主
and throw barrels at Italian plumbers.
barrels: 滚筒 plumbers: 水管工
如何把木桶扔到意大利水管工头上。
-Leonard: You know, there's no guarantee even if you have kids
guarantee: 保证
可是，没法保证你有了孩子
that you're going to like them.
就一定会喜欢他们。
-Rajesh: Wow, that's rough. Where'd you get that?
rough: 艰苦的
哇你从哪里得出了这么沧桑的感慨?
-Leonard: It's right off the dust jacket of my mom's last book.
dust jacket: 书皮
就写在我妈妈最新一本书的封皮上
-Howard: Maybe me and Bernadette aren't right for each other.
也许我和Bernadette并不合适。
-Leonard: Look, Howard, I'd say there's a lot of fish in the sea,
Howard 听着虽然我承认好女孩很多，
but I watched you dangle your hook in the water for years.
dangle: 摇晃的悬挂 hook: 拉拢
但我看你花了很久才找到这么一个。
Do not throw her back.
别把她放走了。
-Howard: I don't want to, but this is kind of a deal breaker.
deal: 交易
我也不想，但关于孩子没有讨论余地。
-Rajesh: What's your mom going to say if you call off the wedding?
call off: 取消 wedding: 婚礼
如果你取消婚礼，你妈会怎么说?
-Howard: Oh, it'll kill her.
噢，这会要了她的命。
On the other hand, if I don't give her grandchildren,
grandchildren: 孙子
反过来说，如果我不能让她抱孙子，
that'll kill her, too.
那也会要了她的命。
So, either way, on the Mom front, I'm golden.
golden: 金色的
所以，不管怎样，在老妈战役中我都会赢。
-Sheldon: What time did you tell Amy to be here?
你约了Amy几点来?
-Penny: 8:00
八点．
Sheldon, that pocket watch is ridiculous.
pocket watch: 怀表 ridiculous: 可笑的
Sheldon 那块怀表太可笑了。
-Sheldon: Nonsense.
nonsense: 胡说
胡说。
I look like a train conductor.
train: 火车 conductor: 售票员
我看上去就像个列车员。
Under what pretext did you lure her here?
pretext: 借口 lure: 引诱
你找了什么借口把她骗来的?
-Penny: I said, "Hey, want to come over and hang out?"
我说，想过来找我出去逛街吗？
-Sheldon: Good, good, if you had said something clever,
很好，如果你说了什么太聪明的话，
she might've gotten suspicious.
suspicious: 怀疑的
她可能就起疑心了。
-Amy: What's he doing here?
他怎么在这里?
-Penny: Okay, he wants to talk to you.
好吧，他想和你谈谈。
-Amy: Well, I don't want to talk to him.
呃，我不想和他说话。
And I'm pretty disappointed in you, too.
disappoint: 失望的
而且我也对你很失望。
Although we both know that won't last.
虽然我们都知道，我气不了太久。
-Penny: Sheldon, you're up.
Sheldon，该你了。
-Sheldon: Thank you.
谢谢。
Amy, I'd like to apologize.
apologize: 道歉
Amy，我想向你道歉。
Your accomplishment was impressive.
accomplishment: 成就 impressive: 感人的
你的成就很了不起。
And I'm proud of you.
proud: 骄傲
我为你骄傲。
-Amy: We both know that's your koala face.
koala: 考拉熊
我们都知道那是你的考拉脸。
-Sheldon: I told you.
我没说错吧。
-Penny: Okay, look, he bought you this.
好吧，快看，他给你买了这个。
-Amy: Jewelry?
jewelry: 珠宝
珠宝？
Seriously?
seriously: 认真的
真的假的？
Sheldon, you are the most shallow,
shallow: 肤浅
Sheldon 你是我见过，
self-centered person I have ever met.
self-centered: 自我为中心的
最肤浅最以自我为中心的人。
Do you really think another transparently manipul...
transparently: 显然的
你真的以为，一个很明显是为了讨...
Oh, it's a tiara!
tiara: 女士冕状头饰
哦，是皇冠!
A tiara! I have a tiara!
皇冠! 我有皇冠啦!
Put it on me, put it on me, put it on me, put it on me,
快给我戴上，快给我戴上，快给我戴上，
put it on me, put it on me, put it on me.
快给我戴上，快给我戴上，快给我戴上。
-Penny: You look beautiful.
你看上去美极了。
-Amy: Of course I do, I'm a princess, and this is my tiara!
princess: 公主
当然了，我是公主啊，这是我的皇冠。
-Sheldon: You're right. Tiara is too much.
你说对了，送皇冠太过了。
-Howard’s Mum: Howard! Bernadette's...
Howard! Bernadette她...
Oh, she slipped right by me.
slip: 滑
噢，她竟然从我身边溜过去了。
-Bernadette: Here's your vest back.
vest: 背心
我来把背心还给你。
-Howard: You should keep it.
你留着吧。
You could wear it again sometime.
你有机会可以再穿的。
-Bernadette: Where?
在哪里穿?
-Howard: I don't know, hunting?
hunting: 打猎
不知道，打猎的时候?
-Howard’s Mum: Don't forget to talk to her about this mishegas
别忘了和她谈谈那个
where I don't get grandkids!
grandkids: （外）孙
让我抱不了孙子的疯狂想法。
-Howard: Don't worry, Ma.
别担心了，妈。
I will, as soon as I can figure out a way
figure out: 想出
我会谈的，一旦我想到办法。
to bring up such a sensitive issue!
bring up: 提出 sensitive: 敏感的 issue: 话题
提起这么敏感的话题!
-Bernadette: I guess you talked to your mom, huh?
我猜你和你妈说过了，是吗?
-Howard: I was upset.
我有点难过。
My mom can be a pretty good shoulder to cry on,
shoulder: 肩膀
我妈可以借我个很好的肩膀哭诉，
if the smell of Bengay doesn't burn your eyes.
burn: 燃烧
如果奔肌(肌肉关节止痛膏)的气味不那么刺眼的话，
-Bernadette: Look, it's obvious having kids is really important to you,
obvious: 明显的
听着，显然孩子对你来说很重要，
and I think I came up with a solution.
solution: 解决方案
我想我有个办法。
-Howard: Really?
真的吗?
That's great. What?
太好了，什么办法?
-Bernadette: Well, seeing as how I make way more money than you anyway,
呃，考虑到我比你的收入高很多。
what if I work and you stay home with the kids?
不如我去工作，你在家带孩子?
-Howard: Me?
我？
-Bernadette: Yeah.
是啊。。
You know, you'll watch Barney
你看，你来看管Barney
and pull Cheerios out of their noses
把麦片圈从他们的鼻子里抠出来
and go on play dates,
date: 约会
带他们去玩耍，
and I'll work and have conversations
conversation: 交流
而我可以工作，和同龄人聊天，
with people my own age and enjoy my life.
enjoy: 享受
享受人生。
-Howard: Yeah...
是啊...
-Bernadette: Yay, so we're good.
耶，那我们和好啦。
-Howard: Yeah, we're good.
是啊，我们和好了。
-Bernadette: You know, I don't know if this counted as a fight,
counted: 视为 fight: 吵架
我不知道刚才算不算吵架，
but how about some make-up sex?
make-up: 补偿
不过来点补偿性的爱爱怎么样?
-Howard: I would love that.
我很乐意
But what is that behind your ear?
不过你耳朵后面是什么呀?
Oh, look, it's a condom.
condom: 避孕套
噢，快看，是个避孕套。
词汇解析：Stacey
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